Because we’ve seen too many good looking chicks with Minis in the past.
Enticed, we took the opportunity to be the first few to have a look at the new Mini Coupe. (That’s right, in Singapore). Far away from it’s Habitat at the Sungei Kadut Eurokars showroom, the black Coupe stood amidst a menacing Rolls Royce garage like a hobbit in a royal wedding.
(That’s really too huge a sight for the grandest car around)
Smaller than any other Mini we’ve ever seen, and to much dismay, this one didn’t have a chick in it either.
Much of the first impression-al mental mockery ceased when Dan the man pressed the engine start. A thundering low rumble assured it ain’t no Louis Vuitton Chihuahua carrying-case as it seemed. Our attention quickly turned to it’s ass – anticipating the display of the retractable rear spoiler, and it wasn’t disappointing. So for 1/10th the price of a Lexus LFA, you have atleast something that the LFA has. Pay the remaining 9/10th and you may get a Gal Gadot in your lap (see Fast Five).
The girls at Redbull finally have a new set of wings to ride on – just that you can’t fit as many girls in this than the Cooper. Plenty of boot space however makes up for it as an ideal resupply vehicle.
The wings can be controlled as desired – otherwise they auto-emerge once you hit 80km/h.
Great for preventing booty-shake in public.
Another cool feature was the ambient lighting switch – allowing you to change the cabin light colours according to your mood. Plenty of hidden compartments are also accessible by subtle buttons – leaving the dash less cluttered and making it feel more spacious. Typical Mini.
Purple light… in the mini…
The Coupe is well, practical for city drive – more interesting than the Swift, more fun and lively, seats less so your pesky free-riding friends can take the bus or fight for your heart (and passenger seat).
It even has active diagnostics to tell you if everything was allright – for example, in case of a flat tyre, how much further could you go (since there wasn’t any spare tyre in the boot).
Fit for females?
First – for the males considering to get the coupe, we advise that it is one of the best buys if you’re a newly rich single. It prevents you from showing off with the top-down, it keeps you faithful by limiting the number of girls you can carry and you don’t have to get to Pasir Gudang to track your car – Kartright would do. That way, you wouldn’t gain a membership into the “Newly Rich, Quickly Poor Club”. The Coupe is simplistic, easy and remains true to what every Mini is known for – fun.
For the females – while Autojo prefers women to drive bigger cars, if you’re the good looking kind who gets out a lot and is constantly chased after by men with Porshes, this will definitely help to zip past em. Besides if your dad is the kind who’ll give you an island for turning 18, then this is the ideal first car to get once you get your driving license. Accelerate too hard and the Coupe whips your delicate legs off the pedal with it’s torque, preventing you from eating into Camry boots. Accelerate too slowly and the Porshe guys catch up, take their time whistling at both you and the car and smashing into the same Camry boot instead of you. Either way you’re safe.
The downside: it’s almost certain that you’ll be pulled over by TP and asked for your license and a can of red bull
Expect to spot the first few Mini Coupes on the road by early November.